Zorro, the Gay Blade (1981)

Zorro, the Gay Blade (1981)

“Remember, my people: there is no shame in being poor, only in dressing poorly!”

Synopsis:
When the greedy new alcalde of Los Angeles (Ron Leibman) demands exorbitant taxes from local peasants, Don Diego Vega (George Hamilton) decides to wear his late father’s Zorro outfit and save the day. When he hurts his ankle jumping from a ledge, his long-lost effeminate twin brother, Bunny Wigglesworth (also Hamilton), conveniently arrives from Britain and takes over the role of Zorro — adding his own unique, flamboyant touch.

Genres, Themes, Actors, and Directors:

  • Comedy
  • Folk Heroes
  • George Hamilton Films
  • Mistaken or Hidden Identities
  • Satires and Spoofs
  • Twins

Review:
After the success of his vampire spoof, Love at First Bite (1979), George Hamilton produced and starred in this affectionate homage to the masked avenger of pulp fiction lore. It’s a surprisingly enjoyable, tongue-in-cheek romp, thanks in large part to Hamilton’s portrayal as both Don Diego and Bunny — he’s convincing enough in these dual roles to make you forget he’s really just one actor. The script is clever, with plenty of juvenile yet amusing one-liners, and the action moves at a quick pace. As with all broad comedies, Zorro may not be for all tastes, but I think it’s a delightfully innocuous diversion.

Redeeming Qualities and Moments:

  • George Hamilton, endearingly campy in his multiple roles
  • Ron Leibman’s over-the-top performance as the Alcalde (though his yelling eventually becomes tedious)
  • Brenda Vaccaro as the Alcalde’s sexually rapacious wife, Florinda
  • Bunny’s flamboyant outfits
  • The Alcalde trying to get Don Diego to “act like a sissy”
  • Many giggle-inducing lines: “What do the people need roads for? They never go anywhere.”

Must See?
No, but it’s recommended. Listed as a Sleeper in the back of Peary’s book.

Links:

Sanctuary (1961)

Sanctuary (1961)

“Listen, little girl, you don’t know nothing ’bout the Candy Man — he’ll have you crawling on all fours and howling like a dog!”

Synopsis:
When her child’s nanny (Odetta) is put on trial for murder, the daughter (Lee Remick) of a southern governor (Howard St. John) decides to tell her father why she’s really the one to blame.

Genres, Themes, Actors, and Directors:

  • Bootlegging
  • Deep South
  • Flashback Films
  • Lee Remick Films
  • Tony Richardson Films

Review:
In 1931, William Faulkner decided to write a potboiler that would actually sell copies in the bookstore; the result was this tale of a privileged southern girl named Temple Drake who is raped by a ruthless bootlegger named Popeye, becomes smitten with him, and lives a life of wild gaiety until the day he dies in a car chase, when she returns home with her tail between her legs. The novel was first filmed the year it came out (in 1931), as The Story of Temple Drake, then remade under its original title by British director Tony Richardson in 1961.

Since I’ve neither read the novel nor seen the previous film, I can’t make any comparisons; on its own, however, Richardson’s version (scripted by Ruth Ford and James Poe) seems to suffer from the same fate befalling so many cinematic translations of literary works — namely, an egregious lapse in motivational logic. The crux of the narrative — Temple’s radical change of heart, post-rape — simply doesn’t ring true, and no time is spent trying to explain it. As noted in the New York Times original review, this transformation “makes for purple melodrama but not much psychological sense”.

This is too bad, given that beautiful Lee Remick turns in a sympathetic performance in the lead role — it’s not her fault that her character is so poorly written.

Also effective is blues singer Odetta in a pivotal role as the woman who first tries to warn Temple against the bootlegger (renamed Candy); one wishes she’d been given more screen time.

Yves Montand as Candy gives the worst performance in the film — he seems to be walking through his scenes, and is badly cast.

Once again, however, we know so little about his character that it’s hard to get a sense of what makes him tick. By the end of the film, we feel like we’ve only been given a glimpse of a much bigger, potentially intriguing world.

Redeeming Qualities and Moments:

  • Lee Remick as Temple Drake
  • Odetta as Nancy

Must See?
No, though Remick makes it worth watching once.

Links:

Kiss Before the Mirror, The (1933)

Kiss Before the Mirror, The (1933)

“That mirror showed me the whole lie of my existence. I realized what a pitiful fool I was — she didn’t love me at all!”

Synopsis:
While defending a man (Paul Lukas) who has just killed his adulterous wife (Gloria Stuart), a lawyer (Frank Morgan) begins to suspect his own wife (Nancy Carroll) of infidelity.

Genres, Themes, Actors, and Directors:

  • Courtroom Drama
  • Infidelity
  • James Whale Films
  • Paul Lukas Films
  • Play Adaptations

Review:
While director James Whale is primarily known for the stylish horror movies (Bride of Frankenstein, The Old Dark House) he made for Universal Studios in the early ’30s, this film is generally considered to be one of his finest non-horror entries. The story starts out rather slowly, but picks up speed and interest once Morgan comes on the scene. The parallels between Morgan’s marriage and that of his defendant (an annoyingly overwrought Paul Lukas) are too convenient, but make for a nifty psychological thriller, as we wonder just how far Morgan’s jealousy will take him.

Redeeming Qualities and Moments:

  • Frank Morgan as the jealous lawyer
  • Nancy Carroll as Morgan’s wife
  • Karl Freund’s cinematography
  • William Anthony McGuire’s taut script

Must See?
Yes, simply to see one of James Whale’s non-horror films. But I also highly recommend Whale’s earlier Waterloo Bridge (1931), which isn’t listed in Peary’s book.

Categories

  • Important Director

Links:

Westbound (1959)

Westbound (1959)

“We need gold to fight the war. We need as much as we can get, and as fast as we can get it!”

Synopsis:
During the Civil War, Union Captain John Hayes (Randolph Scott) is asked to set up a stagecoach delivery route to transport much-needed gold from California. He receives help from wounded soldier Rod Miller (Michael Dante) and Rod’s wife, Jeanie (Karen Steele), but must fight back against a group of strident pro-Confederates.

Genres, Themes, Actors, and Directors:

  • Budd Boetticher Films
  • Civil War
  • Randolph Scott Films
  • Veterans
  • Virginia Mayo Films
  • Westerns

Review:
Westbound is generally considered to be one of the “lesser” collaborations between director Budd Boetticher and actor Randolph Scott, who made seven westerns together in just four years. While based on an interesting premise, the script is hampered by a dull, underdeveloped sideplot involving Scott’s former love interest (played by Virginia Mayo), who has married the town’s insipid bigwig (Andrew Duggan). Much more compelling are Karen Steele (Boetticher’s real-life wife) and Michael Dante as newlyweds trying to cope with Dante’s crippling war injury; this story is really theirs.

Redeeming Qualities and Moments:

  • The touching homecoming scene between Rod and Jeanie
  • Michael Dante as the one-armed veteran
  • Karen Steele as Jeanie
  • A rare ’50s film to explicitly posit Confederates as evil and Unionists as just

Must See?
No, but it’s certainly recommended for Boetticher fans.

Links:

Fabulous Baron Munchausen, The (1961)

Fabulous Baron Munchausen, The (1961)

“The Turks raged like devils as they pursued us, and I had no doubt their fury made my Moon Man’s hair stand on end — as well as frighten the princess. Naturally, this chasing game left me quite unperturbed.”

Synopsis:
Baron von Munchausen (Milos Kopecky) and an astronaut (Rudolf Jelanek) travel around the world, rescuing an imprisoned princess (Jana Brejchova) along the way.

Genres, Themes, Actors, and Directors:

  • Eastern European Films
  • Fantasy
  • Love Triangle

Review:
Czechoslovakian director Karel Zeman was responsible for some of the most visually innovative fantasies in cinematic history. His unique blend of live action and animation — including the use of Gustave Dore’s intricate illustrations as backdrops — is unlike anything you’ve ever seen before (except, perhaps, in Monty Python films, given that Terry Gilliam is an enormous fan of Zeman’s). It’s impossible to describe the sheer wealth of visual enjoyment Munchausen has to offer; see the stills below for a tasty sampling. The narrative basically consists of one bizarre, humanly impossible adventure after the other, and is written with a droll sense of humor. A love triangle is also woven seamlessly into the proceedings, as Munchausen — who fancies himself quite the ladies’ man — finds himself unable to convince beautiful Princess Bianca (Brejchova) to choose him over the Moon Man. In the end, however, Munchausen remains unperturbed, and ready to take on whatever escapade awaits him next.

Redeeming Qualities and Moments:

  • The traveling duo’s improbable journey through space, back to the Earth
  • A court dancer frolicking with an enormous bunch of grapes
  • Munchausen swimming on his webbed-feet horse
  • A snake emerging from a tapestry to bother the Moon Man and Princess Bianca as they canoodle
  • Countless surreal images, blending live-action with animation, and reality with fantasy
  • Many humorous moments — as when the Moon Man discovers the trick behind the Sultan’s protective swords
  • Munchausen’s hilariously self-aggrandizing monologues: “At the time I had a tremendous appetite, kept busy night and day as I was by one after the other lovely lady, who succumbed to the charm of my manly eloquence…”
  • Zdenek Liska’s delightful musical score

Must See?
Yes. This inventive fantasy film deserves a much wider audience. It’s listed as both a Cult Movie and a Personal Recommendation in the back of Peary’s book.

Categories

  • Foreign Gem
  • Important Director

Links:

Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies, The / Teenage Psycho Meets Bloody Mary (1964)

Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies, The / Teenage Psycho Meets Bloody Mary (1964)

“You dirty, filthy pig! So, I belong with the freaks, huh? I’ll fix you so even the freaks won’t look at you!”

Synopsis:
A carnival gypsy (Brett O’Hara) hypnotizes a teenager (Cash Flagg) and turns him into a killer zombie. Meanwhile, his girlfriend Angela (Sharon Walsh) and friend Harold (Atlas King) try to find out why Flagg is acting so strangely.

Genres, Themes, Actors, and Directors:

  • Carnivals and Circuses
  • Hypnosis and Mind Control
  • Zombies

Review:
This wackily-titled exploitation flick by low-budget director Ray Dennis Steckler (a.k.a. “Cash Flagg”) is one truly awful film: it’s got terrible acting, laughable costumes, a nonsensical storyline, and insufferable musical “interludes” which have nothing to do with the main plot. With that said, TISCWSLABMUZ/TSMBM (yes, that’s the title’s acronym!) is ripe for satire; if you do decide to check it out, rent the inspired MST3K (Mystery Science Theater 3000) version to make your viewing experience at least tolerable.

Redeeming Qualities and Moments:

  • The preposterously amateurish performance sequences
  • Plenty of unintentional opportunities for relentless spoofing

Must See?
No, though film fanatics may be curious to see one film by notorious cult director Steckler, and (if so) this one should probably be it.

Links:

Haunts (1977)

Haunts (1977)

“There’s a maniac loose out there — and in times like these, we ought to keep an eye out for one another.”

Synopsis:
A highly religious, sexually repressed woman (May Britt) who lives on a farm with her uncle (Cameron Mitchell) fears for her life when several local girls are raped and killed.

Genres, Themes, Actors, and Directors:

  • Aldo Ray Films
  • Cameron Mitchell Films
  • Murder Mystery
  • Serial Killers
  • Sexual Repression

Review:
Herb Freed’s unusual psycho-sexual thriller starts out strong but ends on a confusing whimper. For the first 45 minutes or so, things look promising: a series of well-edited flashbacks to Britt’s childhood (she’s a complex character) provide some intrigue, and we’re kept in suspense about the identity of the killer. Unfortunately, the screenplay’s logic eventually falls apart, and by the final sequences — when we’re finally told the (convoluted) back story of what’s come before — we’ve given up caring. Although Britt isn’t a great actress, she manages to effectively portray her character’s paranoia, and it’s wonderful to see Aldo Ray in a bit role; others, however, don’t fare nearly so well, and aren’t helped by the sloppy script.

Redeeming Qualities and Moments:

  • Effective editing, particularly in the opening shots
  • Aldo Ray in a too-small role as a tippling sheriff who’s concerned about Britt

Must See?
No. Though this is listed as a Sleeper in the back of Peary’s book, it’s not really worth seeking out.

Links:

Opening of Misty Beethoven, The (1976)

Opening of Misty Beethoven, The (1976)

“The Golden Rod Girl is chosen informally and spontaneously.”

Synopsis:
Sexologist Seymour Love (Jamie Gillis) takes on a bet to turn street hooker Misty Beethoven (Constance Money) into a renowned Golden Rod Girl.

Genres, Themes, Actors, and Directors:

  • Adult Films
  • Character Arc
  • Mentors
  • Radley Metzger Films

Response to Peary’s Review:
As Peary writes, this “p****graphic Pygmalian” is a rare adult flick which “has decent photography; a consistently light, comical touch; [and] a clever script”, in addition to likable characters, interesting set designs, and decent performances. Indeed, because the acting in adult films is (as a rule) uniformly awful, Jamie Gillis’s humorous performance here — as Misty’s “mentor” — is especially welcome.

Redeeming Qualities and Moments:

  • Jamie Gillis as Seymour Love
  • Stylized sets and glamorous, international locales

Must See?
Yes. This is one of a handful of adult flicks which should be seen by all (age-appropriate) film fanatics.

Categories

  • Historically Relevant

Links:

Savage Eye, The (1960)

Savage Eye, The (1960)

“Half the women in this place are living on bourbon, cottage cheese, and alimony.”

Synopsis:
A depressed new divorcee (Barbara Baxley) occupies her free time with diversions, including an affair with a married man (Herschel Bernardi) she doesn’t particularly like.

Genres, Themes, Actors, and Directors:

  • Divorce
  • Documentary
  • Feminism and Women’s Issues
  • Gary Merrill Films
  • Los Angeles

Review:
Made on weekends over a year’s time by a collective team of directors — Ben Maddow, Sidney Meyers, and Joseph Strick — this pseudo-documentary (only five professional actors were used) is both powerful and unique. As we watch the film’s protagonist, Judith McGuire (Baxley), move throughout her day, we gain an unfiltered glimpse at Los Angeles in the late 1950s: Judith gets her hair done on a weekly basis, has a drink at the bar after lunch, plays poker gratefully with strangers, watches a faith healing ceremony, attends a boxing match, and goes to a strip club with her “gentleman friend”.

Although there’s no real-time dialogue in the film, Judith’s back-and-forth commentary with her “angel” (or conscience), played by Gary Merrill, allows us to see behind the façade of her actions, and empathize with her unspoken thoughts and reactions: she refers to her unborn children (she used birth control) as “killed”; she longs for her philandering ex-husband to want her back; she admits that she’s seeing a married man “for revenge”; she agonizes over time passing painfully slowly. The cumulative effect is one of hypnotic fascination, as we eventually realize that Judith’s status as a divorcee is meant to represent the essential loneliness of all humans, and that she’s not alone in her despair.

Redeeming Qualities and Moments:

  • Barbara Baxley in the lead role
  • A powerful depiction of post-divorce despair
  • Many memorable images of Americans attempting to assuage their loneliness and dissatisfaction
  • The surreal transvestite scene near the end of the film
  • Leonard Rosenman’s eclectic score

Must See?
Yes. This unusual movie should be seen by all film fanatics at least once. It’s listed as a Cult Movie in the back of Peary’s book, but it probably doesn’t have much of a current following.

Categories

  • Historically Relevant

Links:

Alvin Purple / Sex Therapist, The (1973)

Alvin Purple / Sex Therapist, The (1973)

“The success of our whole operation is in your hands: I can supply the patients, but you must satisfy them!”

Synopsis:
An oversexed young man named Alvin Purple (Graeme Blundell) is advised by his platonic girlfriend (Elli Maclure) to go to a therapist (Penne Hackforth-Jones) for help. Soon he finds himself hired by another doctor (George Whaley) as a “sex therapist” for frigid women, with unexpected consequences.

Genres, Themes, Actors, and Directors:

  • Australian Films
  • Comedy
  • Morality Police
  • Psychotherapy
  • Sexuality

Review:
This frothy sex comedy holds a special place in Australian cinematic history: it broke ground in its frank depiction of sex on-screen, quickly became the biggest hit in the country, and, when it was distributed overseas, became the film that clued the rest of the world in to the treasures of Australian cinema. Part of the film’s light-hearted success lies in the choice casting of Blundell in the lead role; he’s so innately appealing and “innocent” that one can’t help rooting for him. It’s also refreshing that nobody in the movie acts the way you expect them to: women come on to the rather ordinary-looking Alvin like he’s a Greek god, and his sweet girlfriend (Maclure) is concerned rather than upset about his sexual philandering. Though it contains a few too many corny double entendres, Alvin Purple remains a mildly amusing romp.

Redeeming Qualities and Moments:

  • Graeme Blundell as earnest, confused Alvin
  • An amusing spoof of sexual mores

Must See?
No, but it’s worth a look for its historical importance in Australian cinema.

Links: