Them! (1954)

Them! (1954)

“Here’s one for Sherlock Holmes: there was enough formic acid in him to kill twenty men.”

Synopsis:
A policeman (James Whitmore), an FBI agent (James Arness), and a father-daughter scientist team (Edmund Gwenn and Joan Weldon) investigate the sudden appearance of atomically super-sized ants in the New Mexico desert.

Genres, Themes, Actors, and Directors:

  • Atomic Energy
  • Deserts
  • Edmund Gwenn Films
  • Fess Parker Films
  • Insects
  • James Whitmore Films
  • Mutant Monsters
  • Science Fiction

Response to Peary’s Review:
As Peary notes, this classic mutant monster B-flick “ranks with The Thing and Invasion of the Body Snatchers as the best of the countless fifties science fiction films”. Tautly directed by Gordon Douglas (Peary calls it the “best” of his “many films”), the “intelligent, entertaining script” by Ted Sherdeman never drags. The narrative neatly shifts from mystery mode in its truly eerie opening sequence (of “a little girl in shock, wandering through the New Mexico desert”), to tense police procedural a la “the classic fifties TV” show “Dragnet” (as a series of “oddball witnesses” are questioned), to full-on war against the ants and then a “thrilling finale” in which “Whitmore and Arness search the sewer system for the ants and attempt to rescue two boys who are trapped inside”.

While fans of ’50s “creature feature” films are a ready-made audience for movies like this, all-purpose film fanatics will likely find much here to enjoy as well. As Peary notes, Them! (great title) possesses “believable characters and a particularly fine performance by Whitmore”:

… who struggles throughout the film with guilt from “allowing” his partner to be killed in one of the opening sequences. The special effects are noticeably impressive, with the mutant ants — “products of nuclear bomb-testing” who “are ravaging the area” and may bring about the end of mankind on Earth if they’re not stopped in time — coming across as menacing rather than corny.

However, if you’re in the mood for laughs, there’s plenty of campy and/or corny dialogue to enjoy — though it’s just as easy to watch and listen with a straight face.

Redeeming Qualities and Moments:

  • The incredibly disturbing opening sequence
  • Creepy special effects
  • Fine performances throughout

Must See?
Yes, as a classic sci-fi thriller.

Categories

  • Genuine Classic

Links:

Road to Hong Kong (1962)

Road to Hong Kong (1962)

“I bet you never thought you’d have a fortune riding in the old melon.”

Synopsis:
When a con-man (Bob Hope) accidentally memorizes a secret formula coveted by an underground terrorist organization (led by Robert Morley), one of its members (Joan Collins) does everything she can to wrest it from him; meanwhile, she finds herself falling in love with his partner (Bing Crosby).

Genres, Themes, Actors, and Directors:

  • Bing Crosby Films
  • Bob Hope Films
  • Comedy
  • Joan Collins Films
  • Mistaken Identities
  • Musicals
  • Peter Sellers Films
  • Robert Morley Films
  • Science Fiction
  • Space Exploration
  • Spies

Review:
This final entry in the long-running, enormously popular Road to… franchise is often dismissed as its worst, and cited as evidence that the series had finally run its course; therefore, I was surprised to find myself enjoying its silly sci-fi premise (a spoof of Dr. No, released the same year) as much as I did. Hope and Crosby, despite their advancing ages, still manage to generate plenty of amusing comedic synergy:

… and gamely allow themselves to get into all sorts of foolish situations; meanwhile, the space travel plot is so ridiculous — in true Road to… fashion — that you can’t help watching in anticipation of what bizarre twist will come next (just wait for the banana-feeding machine).

Meanwhile, Collins is actually a fine replacement for Lamour, exhibiting natural chemistry with both aging leads, and taking the silly plot just seriously enough.

Speaking of Lamour, however, her brief cameo appearance late in the film is unfortunately a bit pathetic. While she had every right — as an essential member of the earlier Road to… trio — to insist on appearing in this film, her over-the-top nightclub performance here (playing herself) simply doesn’t provide her with a dignified exit from the series.

Note: Watch for Peter Sellers in an early, uncredited scene as an Indian neurologist attempting to diagnose Hope’s memory loss — he (temporarily) steals the film.

Redeeming Qualities and Moments:

  • Peter Sellers’ brief but indelible early scene as an Indian neurologist
  • A number of incredibly silly jokes, sequences, and gags

Must See?
No, but it’s actually recommended for good, clean Hope & Crosby fun.

Links:

Road to Rio (1947)

Road to Rio (1947)

“I can’t figure that Lucy out: one minute she’s sweet as pie, and the next, a heel!”

Synopsis:
A pair of out-of-work musicians (Bob Hope and Bing Crosby) stow away on a cruise ship to Rio, where they meet a wealthy young woman (Dorothy Lamour) who’s being hypnotized by her evil caretaker (Gale Sondergard).

Genres, Themes, Actors, and Directors:

  • Bing Crosby Films
  • Bob Hope Films
  • Comedy
  • Dorothy Lamour Films
  • Love Triangle
  • Mind Control and Hypnosis
  • Musicians
  • Musicals
  • Rivalry
  • South America

Review:
This fifth entry in the enduringly popular Road to… film series is also its longest, and shows signs of the comedic formula beginning to wear thin. While Hope and Crosby are still in fine form together, and Lamour is as lovely as ever, a number of the running gags — including an extended sequence involving Hope, Crosby, and Lamour teaming up with a trio of non-English-speaking singers, played by the Wiere brothers — fall somewhat flat. Despite its status as one of the “least” of the series, however, there’s still plenty of enjoyable shtick here for fans to appreciate. Followed in 1952 by Road to Bali — the only “Road” film (inexplicably) not listed in Peary’s book — and then in 1962 by the series’ humorously off-beat final entry, The Road to Hong Kong.

Redeeming Qualities and Moments:

  • Hope and Crosby, still going strong in their humorous rivalry
  • Creative opening credits
  • Memorable one-liners: Hope [greeting Sondergard under his breath]:

    “It’s tall, dark and cyanide!”

Must See?
No, though it’s an enjoyable enough entry in the series, and certainly must-see for diehard Road to… fans. Listed as a Cult Movie in the back of Peary’s book.

Links:

Road to Utopia (1946)

Road to Utopia (1946)

“Are you sure they’re the right men? They don’t look like killers to me.”

Synopsis:
A pair of vaudeville performers (Bob Hope and Bing Crosby) traveling to Alaska impersonate a pair of fugitive killers named Sperry (Robert Barrat) and McGurk (Jack LaRue), and fall in love with a singer (Dorothy Lamour) determined to secure a coveted map stolen from her father.

Genres, Themes, Actors, and Directors:

  • Alaska
  • Bing Crosby Films
  • Bob Hope Films
  • Comedy
  • Dorothy Lamour Films
  • Flashback Films
  • Fugitives
  • Gold Seekers
  • Love Triangle
  • Mistaken Identities
  • Musicals
  • Rivalry

Review:
Although its predecessor (Road to Morocco) tends to get the bulk of the fame and glory of the Road to… series, I’ll admit to enjoying this next entry even a bit more. As noted by Mike Bracken in his Epinions review, at this point in the series’ history, the films’ essential plot elements — “Hope and Crosby wind up in a mess, meet Dorothy, compete for her, and sing a few songs along the way” — were already securely in place, thus allowing the comedic duo plenty of creative room to simply do what they did so well together (all while slyly breaking the fourth wall of cinema by commenting on the making of the film itself). Possessing a storyline just as silly as all the others in the series — with perhaps just a tad more narrative cohesion and logic — the primary enjoyment here lies in the series of running gags, most of which are quite amusing.

In an interesting twist, the film (structured as an extended flashback sequence) opens up by showing Lamour and Hope as an aging married couple, thus piquing audience interest immediately, given that Crosby was notoriously the “winner” time and again in their never-ending rivalry for Lamour’s affections. The suspense of how this unexpected pairing came about pays off in a remarkably risque denouement, which must be seen to be believed (seriously). I’m not voting this film “must see”, because I’ve already applied that designation to two other entries in the series, and film fanatics shouldn’t have to sit through more than that unless they choose to — but this one is certainly recommended if you’re at all a fan of Hope-and-Crosby’s silly, self-referential humor.

Redeeming Qualities and Moments:

  • Hope and Crosby’s characteristically enjoyable rivalry and rapport
  • Fun meta-cinematic commentary
  • The astonishingly risque final shot

Must See?
No, but it’s recommended as one of the better films in the series — and should definitely be checked out simply for that last scene! Listed as a Cult Movie in the back of Peary’s book.

Links:

Road to Morocco (1942)

Road to Morocco (1942)

“This is the screwiest picture I was ever in.”

Synopsis:
A pair of castaways (Bob Hope and Bing Crosby) fall in love with an Arabian princess (Dorothy Lamour), whose jealous fiance (Anthony Quinn) is determined to keep her for himself.

Genres, Themes, Actors, and Directors:

  • Anthony Quinn Films
  • Bing Crosby Films
  • Bob Hope Films
  • Comedy
  • Dorothy Lamour Films
  • Love Triangle
  • Musicals
  • Rivalry
  • Royalty and Nobility

Review:
This third entry in the enormously popular Hope/Crosby Road to… series is acknowledged by many as one of the best of the bunch. As in Road to Zanzibar (1941), the storyline in …Morocco is ridiculous beyond belief, and not meant to evoke anything close to reality; instead, viewers should simply relax and enjoy the zany rapport between Hope and Crosby, whose complicated rivalry for beautiful Lamour reaches new heights here, and even includes an additional love interest for Hope (earnest Dona Drake). Interestingly, …Morocco has risen to the top of the series’ rankings over the years, earning a coveted invitation to the National Film Registry in 1996, and appearing on Premiere Magazine’s “50 Greatest Comedies of All Time”. To be honest, however, having recently rewatched the entire series, I find it simply on a par with several of the other Road to… titles, and am not sure it deserves to be particularly called out in this fashion. Nonetheless, it’s certainly a worthy and representative entry, and should probably be seen by all film fanatics simply for its historical notoriety.

Note: Road to Morocco is notable as the first film in the series with an entirely “original” screenplay, not based on another story.

Redeeming Qualities and Moments:

  • Hope and Crosby’s effectively droll rapport together
  • Plenty of fun “meta-cinematic” humor and slyly self-referential jokes

Must See?
Yes, simply as another representative Road to… flick, acknowledged by many as one of the best. Listed as a Cult Movie in the back of Peary’s book.

Categories

  • Historically Relevant
  • Representative Film

Links:

Road to Zanzibar (1941)

Road to Zanzibar (1941)

“If he’s a god, I’M Mickey Mouse!”

Synopsis:
A pair of con-artists (Bob Hope and Bing Crosby) flee to Zanzibar, where they are duped into buying a worthless deed for a diamond mine, romance an American con-girl (Dorothy Lamour), and are held captive by a tribe of natives.

Genres, Themes, Actors, and Directors:

  • Africa
  • Bing Crosby Films
  • Bob Hope Films
  • Comedy
  • Con-Artists
  • Dorothy Lamour Films
  • Fugitives
  • Love Triangle
  • Musicals
  • Rivalry

Review:
This second entry in the wildly successful Road To… Hope/Crosby adventure comedy series bumped the films up into the realm of pure silliness, and introduced their trademark self-referential humor. Much like the same year’s Hellzapoppin’ (1941), the actors in … Zanzibar brazenly break the “fourth wall” of cinema by commenting on the conventions of filmmaking itself — most memorably in the boat ride scene between Lamour and Crosby. Hope and Crosby continue to develop their snappy comedic rapport together, and are surrounded by a fine supporting cast. Eric Blore has a fun supporting role early on as the giddily unreliable seller of the bum deed, while Lamour is provided with a juicier, less submissive role this time around, and is ably supported by comedic sidekick Una Merkel. The storyline itself — essentially a satire of jungle flicks — is far too ridiculous to spend time analyzing; either you’ll give in and enjoy the silliness or you won’t. I’m recommending it as must-see for all film fanatics given that it’s a representative early example of this infamously zany series.

Redeeming Qualities and Moments:

  • Fun rapport between Crosby and Hope
  • Amusing “meta-cinematic” references
  • Fine supporting performances by Dorothy Lamour and Una Merkel

Must See?
Yes, as one of the best films in the Road To… series — and the first to really reveal the series’ comedic potential. Listed as a Cult Movie in the back of Peary’s book.

Categories

  • Representative Film

Links:

Dark Journey (1937)

Dark Journey (1937)

“So our pretty little dressmaker is a spy!”

Synopsis:
During World War One, a French seamstress (Vivien Leigh) working as a spy in Sweden falls in love with a German spy (Conrad Veidt) pretending to be a deserter.

Genres, Themes, Actors, and Directors:

  • Conrad Veidt Films
  • Play Adaptations
  • Spies
  • Star-Crossed Lovers
  • Vivien Leigh Films
  • World War One

Response to Peary’s Review:
Peary labels this early Vivien Leigh film — based on a play by Lajos Biró — “pretty confusing” but “classy and romantic”. He argues that we “don’t mind Leigh falling for a German spy in pre-Nazi days”, calls out 22-year-old Leigh’s “lovely”, “smart, delicate performance”, and notes that this film provides one with an opportunity to see “Veidt in a role that contributed to his romantic-idol reputation — before he became a villain in Hollywood”. (To be honest, I wasn’t aware he ever possessed such a reputation.) Unfortunately, while Leigh is indeed truly “lovely” here, the label “pretty confusing” doesn’t begin to do justice to the film’s needlessly opaque screenplay, which even Leigh herself professed to not completely understand. And while Leigh and Veidt do possess a surprising amount of chemistry together, not nearly enough is made of their tentative forbidden romance.

Most likely Peary includes this title in his book simply because it’s one of Leigh’s all-too-rare screen roles (and her first leading role) — but it’s not must-see for all film fanatics.

Redeeming Qualities and Moments:

  • Vivien Leigh as Madeleine

Must See?
No — though fans of Leigh will doubtless want to check it out. Easily available for viewing online, given that it’s fallen into public domain.

Links:

10th Victim, The (1965)

10th Victim, The (1965)

“A study of history confirms the validity of the Big Hunt theory: it is mankind’s safety valve.”

Synopsis:
In a futuristic society which allows individuals to join a human hunting game, a woman (Ursula Andress) stalks her tenth victim (Marcello Mastroianni) with the intention of killing him live on television.

Genres, Themes, Actors, and Directors:

  • Cat-and-Mouse
  • Dystopia
  • Hunting
  • Italian Films
  • Marcello Mastroianni Films
  • Satires and Spoofs
  • Science Fiction
  • Ursula Andress Films

Response to Peary’s Review:
Peary argues that the “novel sci-fi premise” of this futuristic “sex farce” — based on a short story by Robert Sheckley — ultimately “gives way at the end to a conventional and tired Italian sex-comedy storyline”, and should be “a bit more fun” than it is. He cites Sheckley himself as noting that while his original story was “a commentary on love, the need for excitement and the inevitability of self-deception”, the film instead “points out how difficult it can be to earn a living, how tiresome family problems can get, and how romance is always threatened by the long shadow of marriage, especially in Rome”. Far be it from me to disagree with the story’s author (or Peary), but I actually believe that this cleverly conceived, visually stylish, smartly scored (by Piero Piccioni) sci-fi flick (directed by Elio Petri in a style occasionally “reminiscent of Fellini”) manages to effectively cover all these narrative elements. I wasn’t particularly disappointed by the direction Andress and Mastroianni’s “cat and mouse” maneuvers eventually took, and — unlike DVD Savant — I didn’t find it “hard to accept Marcello and Caroline’s romantic sincerity” after the establishment of “such a cynical world” (their “romance”, after all, is actually more of a sexual attraction grounded in the thrill of the hunt). And while the first half of the film — starting with its energetically filmed opening chase sequence — is indeed its most innovative and gripping, I was surprisingly riveted the entire time, curious to see how this deathly game of romantic deception would ultimately turn out.

Redeeming Qualities and Moments:

  • Ursula Andress as Caroline
  • Marcello Mastroianni as Marcello
  • The exciting opening chase sequences
  • A clever, drolly envisioned dystopian future

Must See?
Yes, as a cult favorite.

Categories

  • Cult Movie

Links:

Sea Hawk, The (1940)

Sea Hawk, The (1940)

“By now you know the purpose of the Sea Hawks: in our own way to serve England and the Queen.”

Synopsis:
A privateer (Errol Flynn) and his men in Elizabethan England are captured by Spaniards, and must find a way to escape the galleys in time to warn Queen Elizabeth I (Flora Robson) about the presence of a traitor in her court.

Genres, Themes, Actors, and Directors:

  • Alan Hale Films
  • Claude Rains Films
  • Donald Crisp Films
  • Errol Flynn Films
  • Flora Robson Films
  • Henry Daniell Films
  • Historical Drama
  • Michael Curtiz Films
  • Pirates
  • Royalty and Nobility
  • Slavery

Response to Peary’s Review:
Peary argues that this “Errol Flynn swashbuckler is as good an old-time adventure as you’ll find”, and nominates it as one of the Best Pictures of the Year in his Alternate Oscars book. He notes that it possesses “great ships, sea battles, swordplay, spies, slaves, [and] Spaniards”; a “rousing score by Erich Wolfgang Korngold”; “exuberant and stylish direction by Michael Curtiz (who, as usual, makes great use of light, shadows, and space)”; “a strong, spirited script”; “a marvelous group of supporting actors” (including Flora Robson, Claude Rains, Henry Daniell, Una O’Connor, Alan Hale, and others) — and “even a little smooching” (though Flynn’s romance with beautiful but boring Brenda Marshall is definitely the weakest aspect of the story). Most importantly, however, he notes that it stars “Flynn, the talking pictures’ greatest adventure hero”, who is once again a pirate and once again “champion of the underdog, in this case the England of 1585 that is being set up for conquest for Spain”.

While I find nearly every aspect of this adventure flick to be in fine order, I’ll admit that Flora Robson’s “splendid” performance as Queen Elizabeth I remains its greatest personal enjoyment for me. As Peary so accurately explains, Robson presents the Queen “not as a man in a woman’s body but a woman of intelligence, wit, high spirits, temper, strength, and love for country and subjects; she’s no prude, she just prefers ruling men to loving them”. And speaking of its historical grounding, the parallels made between the film’s “imperialist and evil” Spain of 1585 and Nazi Germany are indeed — as many have pointed out — rather overt, with Robson “start[ing] out like Neville Chamberlain, willing to appease the aggressors rather than risk war”, but eventually “becom[ing] as dogged as Winston Churchill”. As Peary argues, much like 1942’s Casablanca (also directed by Curtiz), this is ultimately a thinly “veiled propaganda piece that attempts to get Americans solidly into the war effort” — but it’s easy to overlook such metaphorical heavy-handedness in the face of what amounts to a bracingly vigorous, finely mounted adventure flick in its own right.

Redeeming Qualities and Moments:

  • Flora Robson as Queen Elizabeth
  • Errol Flynn as Captain Thorpe
  • Fine supporting performances
  • Authentic period detail

  • The exciting climactic duel (between Flynn and Henry Daniell)
  • E.W. Korngold’s score

Must See?
Yes, as an adventure classic.

Categories

  • Genuine Classic

Links:

Honky Tonk Freeway (1981)

Honky Tonk Freeway (1981)

“The International House of Pancakes is the one consistent thing in my life.”

Synopsis:
A motley group of individuals — including two petty bank robbers (George Dzundza and Joe Grifasi), a busty blonde (Beverly D’Angelo), an aspiring children’s book author (Beau Bridges), a pair of nuns (Geraldine Page and Deborah Rush), a middle-class family (Teri Garr, Howard Hesseman, Peter Billingsley, and Jenn Thompson), an elderly man (Hume Cronyn) and his alcoholic wife (Jessica Tandy), a pair of car thieves (Al Corley and Murphy Dunne), a prostitute (Sandra McCabe) and her flashy john (David Rasche), a songwriting trucker (Paul Jabara), a coke-sniffing hitchhiker (Daniel Stern), a jeep full of gay men, and a bus of Asian-American orphans — drive towards Florida, where the evangelist mayor (William Devane) of a small town is desperate to lure tourists.

Genres, Themes, Actors, and Directors:

  • Beau Bridges Films
  • Comedy
  • Ensemble Cast
  • Geraldine Page Films
  • Hume Cronyn Films
  • Jessica Tandy Films
  • John Schlesinger Films
  • Road Trip
  • Small Town America
  • Teri Garr Films

Review:
The brief synopsis provided above should give a clear indication that John Schlesinger’s notorious clunker (with a $24 million budget, it was the most expensive movie of its day, earning back only $500,000 at the box office) aims to be QUIRKY, in all capital letters. The very premise of the film — a small-town mayor-cum-preacher unsuccessfully attempts to bribe city officials into providing his town with an off-ramp on the new interstate freeway:

and eventually resorts to more extreme measures, including painting his entire town pink, shipping in a troupe of African safari animals, attempting to teach an elephant to water ski, and much more:


— sets it up as a wannabe “drolly comedic commentary” on the eccentricities of America. Unfortunately, however, while every single situation and character in the script seems designed to milk laughs, I never chuckled — not once.

Like most comedies, this film has its core set of devoted fans: many viewers seem to find inherent humor simply in the IDEA of a children’s story about “Ricky the Carnivorous Pony”, pronounced “Licky” by the group of generically “Asian-American” orphans; or the concept of a blonde floozy gathering her mother’s ashes from a drive-in mortuary and driving with them to Florida, accidentally allowing them to spill and be snorted by a cokehead in the meantime; or the notion of a young boy (Billingsley) who hates peeing in his RV’s urinal so much he holds it in for hours; or the portrayal of a defiant elderly woman who insists she ISN’T an alcoholic since she “only” indulges in mixed drinks and never hides her bottles:

… or the revelation that a young nun (Rush) actually longs for sensual experiences like swimming.

Well, there’s clearly no point in going on — either it works for you, or it doesn’t. The biggest mystery is why Peary includes this clunker in the back of his book, without any kind of revealing “code”. Is he a fan himself? Or does he consider it simply too historically notorious to miss? Regardless, it’s most certainly NOT must-see.

Redeeming Qualities and Moments:

  • For me, nothing

Must See?
Absolutely NOT.

Links: