Confessions of a Window Cleaner (1974)

“In our business you’ve got to be immune from shocks — especially from birds!”

Confessions Window Poster

Synopsis:
A clumsy young window cleaner (Robin Askwith) working for his brother-in-law (Anthony Booth) finds it easy to bed his scantily-clad female clients, but really wants to date a sexy female cop (Linda Hayden).

Genres:

Review:
Confessions of a Window Cleaner was the highest grossing film at the U.K. box office in 1974, and it’s easy to see why: full of naughty sexual encounters and low-brow humor, Confessions… is essentially soft-core porn on laughing gas. The script is filled to the brim with groan-inducing double entendres (“I don’t know what came over me.” “Well, it wasn’t me.”), and occasionally stoops a bit too low for laughs, as when Askwith’s pregnant sister (Sheila White) appears to be going into labor, only to let out a huge belch instead — but ultimately it’s all much too innocuous to find fault with. As “Timothy Lea”, Robin Askwith — who looks like a goofy Mick Jagger — is horny but has his heart in the right place, as evidenced by his sincere pursuit of marriage with baby-faced Linda Hayden. Followed by three Confessions… sequels, all starring Askwith as Timmy. Note the following refrain from Timmy’s theme song: “You’re not a loser, you just find it hard to win.” (!!)

Redeeming Qualities and Moments:

  • An overall air of lighthearted silliness
    Confessions Window Silliness
  • A bouncy ’70s score

Must See?
No; despite its historical popularity, this one isn’t must-see viewing — though it’s worth a look if you’re curious. Listed as a Cult Movie in the back of Peary’s book.

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One Response to “Confessions of a Window Cleaner (1974)”

  1. First viewing. Blimey, not a bloody must!

    Breasts, breasts, more breasts and an ever-randy leading man – all parading through an all-but-witless bit of tiresome entertainment. Once you hear the first, forced, naughty ‘joke’, you’ve heard the whole movie. The damn thing is only 90 min. and it just doesn’t seem to end.

    Not surprised it made a ton of money, though; this kind of ‘nudge-nudge’ stupidity has often been known to do just that.

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