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Synopsis:
A marine biologist (George Rowe) in search of rare “flame pearls” travels to Tiburon Island, where he discovers mermaids; meanwhile, a ruthless gangster (Timothy Carey) and his Mexican shipmate (Jose Gonzales-Gonzales) pursue the pearls themselves.

Genres, Themes, Actors, and Directors:

• At Sea
• Fantasy
• Mermaids

Review:
The Mermaids of Tiburon — written and directed by underwater photographer John Lamb — is perhaps the only mermaid film (itself a limited sub-genre) to take place primarily off-land. Lamb does an admirable job evoking a naturalistic water environment for the gorgeous mermaids encountered by Rowe; it’s easy to believe that such a magical underwater haven — complete with luminous “flame pearls” nestled in gigantic clam shells — might actually exist. Unfortunately, the flimsy storyline about a competitive search for rare pearls (complete with a mano-a-mano fight between Rowe and Carey at the end) is cliched, badly acted, and best ignored altogether; it simply functions as a necessary framework for Lamb’s extensive mermaid footage. Meanwhile, the Cousteau-esque voiceover narration while Rowe is underwater is unintentionally humorous, and good for a few laughs — as when Rowe solemnly states, “The question occurred to me: just exactly how feminine was this mermaid?”, or notes to himself, “I was being drawn to this creature by something more than just a scientific interest.” (No kidding!)

Unfortunately, when Mermaids of Tiburon failed to generate much interest at the box office, Lamb decided to shoot additional footage of topless mermaids, re-releasing the film as The Aqua Sex; this later version — the one now widely available on DVD — is little more than shameless soft-core porn, with buxomy starlets swimming nearly naked (in seaweed “bikinis”), and green flippers substituted for mermaid tails Lamb apparently wanted viewers to have visual access to the women’s curvy behinds, but this decision ultimately makes them look more like swimming strippers than mermaids. If you do decide to seek out this camp classic, make sure to watch the original version, with playmate Diane Webber as Queen of the Mermaids — she’s infinitely more alluring in her bra-shells and mermaid tail than the topless woman replacing her in Lamb’s updated “audience pleasing” version.

Redeeming Qualities and Moments:

• Some beautiful imagery, both above and below water
  
  
  
• Richard LaSalle’s haunting score

Must See?
No, though you may be curious to check it out once. Listed as a Camp Classic in the back of Peary’s book.

Links:

• IMDb entry
• Spinning Image Review
• All Movie Guide Review
• SciFilm Review

Synopsis:
A British agent (Michael Caine) is suspected by his boss (Donald Pleasence) of kidnapping his own son (Paul Moss), and must take matters into his own hands.

Genres, Themes, Actors, and Directors:

• Delphine Seyrig Films
• Don Siegel Films
• Donald Pleasence Films
• Kidnapping
• Michael Caine Films
• Spies
• Vigilantes

Review:
Based on Clive Egleton’s novel Seven Days to a Killing, this British spy-cum-vigilante flick is a curiously dull disappointment. With director Don Siegel at the helm and Michael Caine in the leading role, one would expect both excitement and nuance — but the overly linear storyline fails to generate much tension, and Caine is a bit too icy cool as an agent who’s almost immediately suspected of playing a part in his own son’s kidnapping:

While we understand that Caine’s reserved attitude is scripted to arouse suspicion, he takes this guise too far, and loses our sympathy. Donald Pleasence fares better as Caine’s twitchy superior, who somehow seems to have it in for Caine (if only we better understood why). Meanwhile, John Vernon and Delphine Seyrig (as “Ceil Burrows” — great name) remain sadly underdeveloped villains. The dramatic climax, taking place in the title’s picturesque locale, unfortunately comes too late to redeem the rest of the lackluster script.

Redeeming Qualities and Moments:

• Donald Pleasence as Cedric Harper
  

Must See?
No, though Siegel completists will certainly want to take a look.

Links:

• IMDb entry
• NY Times Original Review
• Roger Ebert’s Review
• The Stop Button Review

Synopsis:
Filmmakers from France, Italy, Germany, Poland, and Japan tell short stories about the joy and heartbreak of young love.

Genres, Themes, Actors, and Directors:

• Episodic Films
• Eastern European Films
• Francois Truffaut Films
• French Films
• German Films
• Japanese Films
• Obsessive Love

Review:
Judging from the stories told in this little-seen international omnibus film, love as experienced by 20-year-olds tends to be obsessive, all-consuming, heartbreaking, and/or dangerous. In Francois Truffaut’s opening segment (“Antoine and Colette”, a.k.a. “Paris”), his alter ego Antoine Doinel (Jean-Pierre Leaud) learns that attraction isn’t always reciprocated, but may lead to friendship. This delightful short story, the longest of the bunch, is an essential “adolescent” intermediary between the childhood tale of The 400 Blows (1959) and Doinel’s emergence as an adult in Stolen Kisses (1968). Unlike the other segments in the film, it’s now widely available as part of a box set of “Antoine Doinel” DVDs — and film fanatics won’t want to miss it.

Renzo Rossellini’s “Rome” — about a callow young man (Geronimo Meynier) whose older lover (Eleonora Rossi Drago) bitterly tries to warn her young rival (Cristina Gaioni) about Meynier’s “true nature” — is effectively filmed, but, as one of the shortest of the film’s six tales, ultimately doesn’t leave much of a lasting impression. Shintaro Ishihara’s equally short “Tokyo” packs much more of a punch: it’s a hauntingly shot vignette about a delusional factory worker (Koji Furuhata) whose obsessive love for a beautiful woman he walks by every day taps into his violent tendencies. Meanwhile, Marcel Ophuls’ “Munich” aims for more depth in its tale of a womanizing businessman (Christian Doermer) undergoing — perhaps — a change of heart when he visits a girl (Barbara Frey) who has just given birth to his son; it’s engaging, and hints at the potential for a longer film.

Andrzej Wajda’s “Warsaw” is my personal favorite of the collection. Featuring Zbigniew Cybulski (the bespectacled star of Wajda’s Ashes and Diamonds, 1958), it packs a punch from the opening sequence, as we watch a little girl who has fallen into a polar bear’s den at the zoo being rescued by a man (Cybulski) with seemingly limitless bravery. A beautiful blonde (Barbara Lass) — previously seen kissing her young lover (Wladyslaw Kowalski) — immediately shifts allegiances when her boyfriend simply takes a photo of the tragedy rather than jumping in to help; Lass invites Cybulski back to her home, and — in typical Eastern European cinematic fashion — the situation becomes increasingly absurd, until events erupt into a poignant meditation on post-traumatic stress and the callowness of youth.

Weaving the five vignettes together is an absorbing montage of stills (by Henri Cartier-Bresson) showing (real-life?) young lovers on the street, and the reactions of those around them; in the background, Xavier Depraz sings Georges Delerue’s “Love at Twenty” in multiple languages, reiterating the universality of young love. It’s too bad that the most recent attempt at such an international collection of thematic shorts — Paris, Je T’Aime (2006) — was largely disappointing, since this earlier effort (strangely unavailable on DVD as of yet) shows that omnibus films can be quite effective, given the right combination of talent. Perhaps part of the solution lies in limiting the number of stories (Paris, Je T’Aime had a whopping twenty), so that more depth is allowed in each tale.

Redeeming Qualities and Moments:

• Truffaut’s entire “Paris” story
  
• Wajda’s “Warsaw” segment
  
• Zbigniew Cybulski as “the hero” in “Warsaw”
  
• Shigeo Murata’s haunting cinematography in “Tokyo”
  
• Henri Cartier-Bresson’s inter-segment montage stills
  
  

Must See?
Yes, as a most enjoyable and insightful collection of short films.

Categories

• Foreign Gem

Links:

• IMDb entry
• NY Times Original Review
• All Movie Guide Review

Synopsis:
When a delusional amnesiac (Boris Karloff) escapes from a sanitarium in search of an opera singer (Margaret Irving), Chinese detective Charlie Chan (Warner Oland) and his “number one son” (Keye Luke) are on the case.

Genres, Themes, Actors, and Directors:

• Asian-Americans
• Boris Karloff Films
• Detectives and Private Eyes
• Murder Mystery
• Opera

Review:
As I wrote in my review of Charlie Chan at Treasure Island (1939), it’s a shame that Hollywood primarily cast white actors in the central role of this popular and long-running detective series (though it should be noted that Asian actors were originally tried, without box office success). Swedish actor Warner Oland was the original “white” Chan, appearing in no less than 16 films in the series before his untimely death from pneumonia in 1938. While Oland does a fine job, it’s much more refreshing (from an historical perspective) to see Chinese-American Keye Luke playing his Number One Son — and the presence of Boris Karloff in a meaty supporting role as a delusional former opera singer will surely be a delight for film fanatics. The story itself (about murder and jealousy among opera singers) is reasonably enjoyable, making good use of just a couple of settings — primarily an opera house during opening night of a new opera (written by Oscar Levant!). You’re sure to be kept guessing about the outcome, and will likely find yourself innocently entertained throughout.

Note: While it’s frustrating to see Chinese Americans portrayed in the Chan series as either benevolent or stereotypically eager-beaver, Charlie Chan and his son are at least a welcome alternative to the “yellow peril” posited in the notorious character of Fu Manchu; in addition, the screenwriters do a nice job presenting William Demarest’s skeptical, racist detective as a clueless dolt.

Redeeming Qualities and Moments:

• Boris Karloff as Gravelle
  
• Keye Luke as Lee Chan
  
• An innocuously fun yet challenging murder mystery
  

Must See?
Yes, simply to see the best of Oland’s Chan films.

Categories

• Representative Film

Links:

• IMDb entry
• NY Times Original Review
• Spinning Image Review

Synopsis:
Ralph the All-Purpose-Animal (Lorenzo Music) and his sidekick, Mum, are tricked by evil Synonamess Botch (Marshall Efron) — ruler of Murkworks Nightmare Factory — into releasing the “Magic Mainspring” from a “Cosmic Clock” of time, thus freezing activity in the human world of Din. They join forces with an inept superhero named Rod Rescueman (James Cranna) to free Greensleeves (Hamilton Camp) — the ruler of Frivoli, Home of Sweet Dreams — from Botch’s clutches, and prevent Botch from unleashing a torrent of nightmares on Din.

Genres, Themes, Actors, and Directors:

• Animated Features
• Fantasy
• John Korty Films
• Superheroes

Review:
This little-seen animated fantasy (produced by George Lucas, and co-directed by John Korty) features a unique form of animation known as “Lumage”, in which cut-out pieces of plastic and fabric are illuminated by light tables and combined with live-action stills and footage to create an effect much like that in Terry Gilliam’s animation, or found in the television series “South Park”. The overall result is both stunning and consistently innovative, helping to make up for the film’s supremely dated ’80s soundtrack (you’ll want to plug your ears) and rather labyrinthine storyline. Indeed, you’ll probably need more than one viewing to understand exactly who all the characters are in Twice Upon a Time, how they’re related, and what they’re up to — but you won’t mind rewinding, since the visuals are unique enough to merit another look.

In a creatively surreal twist, the main character (Lorenzo Music, best known as the voice of Garfield) is capable of changing animal-shapes as needed to best suit his situation (his “default” mode is an innocuously bearish-looking fellow); meanwhile, his black-hatted sidekick Mum — true to his name — never says a word, instead simply conducting a steady stream of magic tricks (they’re like a less abrasive, vertically altered version of Penn and Teller). These two hapless but well-meaning souls are thrown willy-nilly into a plot in which a motley crew of would-be heroes and superheroes must save the world from eternal nightmares — with the wry “assistance” of a hilariously no-holds-barred New York Fairy Godmother (“Call me FGM; I hate excess verbiage.”).

Despite its overt fairytale leanings, however, this one isn’t necessarily for kids — at least not the version I saw, which is full of surprisingly salty profanity (at one point Botch yells, “So come on, you garlic breathing, garbage sucking dipshits. Move out! I’m not talking tomorrow! Haul ass, you mothers!”) Apparently an alternate, sanitized version was also released, but regardless of which version you locate, the story itself may still be too scary and baroque for kids to fully “get”; it’s ultimately more for adults or adolescents. Read Ward Jenkins’ interview with writer Taylor Jessen for many more details about the making of the film, as well as all the various and sundry reasons for its failure to be released on DVD. For now, you’ll have to catch a rare copy on video or try to search for a streamed version online.

Redeeming Qualities and Moments:

• Impressive, highly creative “Lumage” animation
  
  
• Enjoyably irreverent characterizations
  
• Rod Rescueman’s botched “superhero test” with the Fairy Godmother
  
• The “office nightmare” sequence
  

Must See?
Yes, as an historically important animated film. Listed as a Sleeper in the back of Peary’s book – for good reason!

Categories

• Historically Relevant

Links:

• IMDb entry
• Movie Magazine International Review
• Interview with writer Taylor Jessen

Synopsis:
A group of pilgrims travel to Canterbury, telling various bawdy tales along the way.

Genres, Themes, Actors, and Directors:

• Black Comedy
• Episodic Films<
• Historical Drama
• Hugh Griffith Films
• Pier Paolo Pasolini Films

Review:
Pier Paolo Pasolini’s follow-up to his delightfully irreverent adaptation of Boccaccio’s The Decameron (1971) was this disappointing take on Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales. Casting many of the same actors, and utilizing authentic-looking costumes, sets, and props, Pasolini once again excels at viscerally evoking the grime and vibrancy of medieval Europe — but the same can’t be said for his storytelling abilities. Pasolini only loosely follows Chaucer’s actual text — indeed, it’s frustratingly difficult to figure out exactly who’s who, or which particular tales are being told; instead, he selectively draws from the book’s characters and situations in order to depict his own uniquely bawdy vision of hypocrisy, sexuality, and religion during the Middle Ages.

The opening story (“The Merchant’s Tale”), about a lecherous merchant named Sir January (Hugh Griffith) whose beautiful new wife, May (Josephine Chaplin), cuckolds him while he’s under a spell of blindness, is only mildly amusing, but at least promises more of the same type of naughty tales we saw in The Decameron.

The next vignette takes on a much darker tone, as we watch two different men — one wealthy, one poor — being spied on while committing the heretical act of “buggering”, then blackmailed.

The gruesome outcome poignantly points out the hypocrisy of medieval “pardoning”. The rest of the film, unfortunately, quickly goes downhill, as tale after tale fails to provide either much humor or insight. We’re exposed to plenty of explicit sex and genitalia, several explosive farts, and — in Pasolini’s infamous vision of hell near the end of the film — a red-skinned devil literally defecating friars.

Those who enjoy such coarse imagery will be delighted, but the rest of us will simply suffer.

Redeeming Qualities and Moments:

• Fine historical costumes, sets, and production design
  
  
• The second tale, about the gruesome hypocrisy of “pardoning”
  

Must See?
No, though it’s worth a look simply as the second in Pasolini’s famed “Trilogy of Life” (followed in 1974 with Arabian Nights). Listed as a film with Historical Importance in the back of Peary’s book.

Links:

• IMDb entry
• Eye For Film Review
• TV Guide Review
• Time Out Capsule Review

Synopsis:
A motley group of patients at a British hospital — including a journalist, a boxer, and a colonel — interact with nurses, visitors, and each other.

Genres, Themes, Actors, and Directors:

• Comedy
• Doctors and Nurses

Review:
Between 1958 and 1978, 29 films in the enormously successful “Carry On” comedy series — directed by Gerald Thomas, and produced by Peter Rogers — were made at Pinewood Studios in England. Carry On, Nurse (the second in the series) was the highest grossing film in Britain in 1959, and is considered by many to be one of the best early entries in the series. Wikipedia describes the films as “an energetic mix of parody, farce, slapstick and double entendres” — but I must admit that they leave me completely cold. I didn’t laugh a single time throughout …Nurse, and am genuinely hard-pressed to understand what others might find humorous about the series.

There’s no real plot to speak of in Carry On, Nurse; instead, we’re meant simply to laugh at the exploits of the patients and their foibles, as well as those of the nurses trying to avoid the wrath of their glowering matron (Hattie Jacques). Every now and then, we’re treated to some amusingly risque statements — such as when a bumbling student nurse (Joan Sims) expresses frustration with a male patient who’s embarrassed to strip and take a bath in front of her, then looks down at his nether regions and coyly states, “Hmm… To think I called you a baby!” Other attempts at humor — such as the mere presence of a gay patient (Charles Hawtrey) who enjoys flamboyantly “conducting” while listening to music on his headphones — are much weaker.

All told, Carry On, Nurse is guaranteed to be a delightfully nostalgic treat for those who enjoy the series, but a tedious snooze for those (like me) who don’t quite “get” the humor.

Redeeming Qualities and Moments:

• A few mildly amusing scenarios (such as an overly diligent nurse who literally watches her patient 24/7)
  
• The final “bunion surgery” scene
  

Must See?
Yes, but only as a representative sample of the series; another would likely do just as well, and don’t expect to be amused.

Categories

• Historical Importance

Links:

• IMDb entry
• Spinning Image Review
• DVD Savant Box Set Guest Review

Synopsis:
A mad scientist (Donald Pleasence) obsessed with merging plant and human life forms has his facially deformed assistant (Tom Baker) kidnap university students (Olga Anthony and Scott Anthony) so he can perform genetic experiments on them; meanwhile, their friends (Julie Ege, Brad Harris, and Jill Haworth) try to find out why they’ve disappeared.

Genres, Themes, Actors, and Directors:

• Carnivals and Circuses
• Donald Pleasence Films
• Horror
• Killer Plants
• Mad Doctors and Scientists
• Science Fiction

Review:
Famed cinematographer Jack Cardiff directed over a dozen feature-length films during his illustrious career; this campy cult horror film was the last of them. It’s inspired in part by Tod Browning’s Freaks (1932), given its cast of physically “abnormal” performers who are upset that their nominal leader (Baker) doesn’t consider himself “one of them” — in fact, the infamous “We accept you, one of us!” dinner party sequence from Freaks is directly replicated here.

Unfortunately, the bulk of the movie is taken up with a rather nonsensical mad scientist plot, in which Pleasence — with completely noble goals, of course:

— turns his experimental “subjects” (conveniently, two of them are his own students) into laughably silly-looking plant-monsters.

At least the picture looks good, with vibrantly colorful set designs — and the mid-film “freak show” is worth a look.

I like how these actors — including a real-life “Alligator Lady”, “Bearded Lady”, “Frog Boy”, and “Human Pincushion”, as well as a man known as “Popeye” who can bug his eyes out at will:

— are treated with relative dignity, and each allowed to carefully explain their syndrome to the audience if they wish. These sympathetic characters should have been the central focus of the film.

Redeeming Qualities and Moments:

• The undeniably fascinating carnival “freak show”
  
• Colorful set designs
  

Must See?
No. Listed as a Cult Movie in the back of Peary’s book.

Links:

• IMDb entry
• NY Times Original Review
• Eye For Film Review
• British Horror Films Review
• Moria Review
• Time Out Capsule Review